Pitching Change

Here is the first of what will probably be an ongoing feature here in Center Field. If you've played outfield before (or even if you've astutely observed a game you're attending), you may know that many times during a pitching change the outfielders will congregate in center field and stand next to each other while the pitcher warms up. If you've never been privy to these conversations, they're not usually about baseball (at least when I roamed center in my playing days, they hardly ever were). I used to relish those conversations, because most of the time they were random and comical, even if brief--you didn't have all day between pitchers (although as a fan, sometimes it seems that way).

Anyway, sure there aren't any official games until April 3, and Spring Training won't even kick off until March, but here in Center Field we've got our first pitching change of the season. Just a couple things that I found that I couldn't let pass you by.

First there's this. This Romanian couple met over the Internet, and after a 3-month relationship--over the Internet--they decided to get married. Fine, you say. Happens all the time. Sure, whatever.

Most couples aren't so happy they met over the Internet that they name their kid "Yahoo" though. Yahoo Serious? Yes, I am. Lucian Yahoo Dragoman.

Check the quote from Cornelia, the mother: "We named him Lucian Yahoo after my father and the net, the main beacon in my life." Now, who's the beacon? Your father? Or the In. Ter. Net? 'Cause unless this woman doesn't understand dangling modifiers, I think she's talkin' about the net.

I love the net. It's the reason I get to post here. However, if the Internet ever becomes the--what was it?--"main beacon in my life", I will proceed out to the garage, pick up a hammer, and obliterate any and all transmissions on my computer from the motherboard to the F7 key. Then, I'll go on a hike or something.

I know most kids don't like their middle names--I hated mine all the way through grade school and it's a perfectly fine middle name. However, I don't envision a day in the future when this kid tries the pick-up line, "No, no…you can call me Yahoo."
__

If there's one thing the citizens of Earth are getting exceedingly better at, it's at developing ways to allow us to become lazier. Enter the Samsung SCH-S310.

This beauty has a built-in "accelerometer", which seems to be a fancy word for Etch-A-Sketch. If you want to hang up the phone, all you have to do is shake it twice. If you want to you dial a number, you can simply draw the number in the air. Is this really necessary? When was the last time you wanted to call someone but thought, "You know, I'd love to call, but it's just too much of a strain to dial the phone. I can't press a button right now--I just ate. Plus, if I did work up the sweat, when we got done talking, then I'd have to press the End key. I'd have to go bed early for sure! I'd be wiped. Nah, I'll just tell Mom Happy Mother's Day next week. She's gotta come by and do my laundry anyway."

The phone also offers what I guess is the Bose option, turning itself into, what the article calls, a "beat box". If these geeks are calling it a beat box, they obviously never had one growing up. It also has games using motion, and get this--can analyze a user's movements to give them diet advice. That probably goes something like, "For a fat burning workout, dial 3 to 5 numbers manually a day. For a cardiovascular workout, dial up a telephone order customer service line with several levels of automated menus."

Finally, the phone has a compass. I'm not arguing that one. Of all the unnecessary things my phone does have, I gotta admit a compass would be cool.

Anyway, back to the game...